Presentation about Community Service!

So my friend's cousin asked me to speak to her church youth group about community service. I agreed, but I'm now having a hard time making a presentation. I narrowed it down to Casa del Niño and the Providence House... two of my favorite places to volunteer! I want to make it interesting for everyone, but I just don't know how. I know that for people not interested in volunteering, they're not going to want to listen... which is fine. I just want to make it so interesting that they all want to volunteer like I do- which happens to be all the time. I'll keep working on it and hope it goes over well!

Argentina

Wow! What a year! It doesn't seem at all like it's been a year since my trip. This time last year, I was on a plane to Santiago, en route back to the USA. It was quite a day... very emotional if nothing else. I still think about Argentina all the time and I miss everyone there. I've kept in touch with my host family so that's been nice. I love hearing from them. I haven't talked to Sole lately, but I keep meaning to send her a message. I'd love to have some updates on the kiddos. I wonder if Agustín is speaking more, if Zulma can still count to at least 5 and I'd love to see how big Jeremias has gotten! He probably looks so much older!

I just finished a 2 month Spanish class for summer school. It couldn't have been better! My teacher was awesome! I really learned a lot.

Unfortunately it looks as if I won't be returning to Argentina quite so soon. I definitely plan on going back, but it just didn't work out with summer school this year... maybe next summer!
Until then, besos! ♥

One Year Later...

It's been a year since Amanda died...

6 months...

I've been thinking about Casa del Niño and Argentina a lot lately... I would absolutely love to go back and visit this summer. Hopefully it can happen! Anyway, another thing I've been thinking about is that today marks the 6 month "anniversary" of Amanda's death. I was never particularly close with Amanda for several reasons. As I wrote before, I had never taken a Spanish class before going to Argentina so my first month was really hard... not just at Casa del Niño, but everyday life in Argentina. You don't really how much you take communication for granted until you can't communicate with anyone. The first month at Casa del Niño, I tended to hang out with Jorge, Celeste, Rubén (the days he was there in the mornings... he normally went to school and was only there after lunch), Zulma (Chuchi... always will be one of my faves), sometimes Agustín, and of course, Jeremias (oh how I miss him...). Anyway, I obviously knew about Amanda, I just never spent time with her. She spent all of her time in a crib hooked up to oxygen in Sole's room. I would say that Sole hated me during my first month... I still don't really know why... and it wasn't until Laura (and Ben too) came that she started talking to me/us. That's when she said Amanda was "mi hija" (my daughter). Of course we didn't believe her right away, but then decided that that would be a big thing to lie about. Long story short, Amanda's not her biological daughter, but has been at Casa del Niño since she was a baby so she's like Sole's daughter. We started talking to Sole more and hanging out in her room. Every once in awhile I'd go over to Amanda's crib to talk to her or put her socks back on her cold feet... she didn't like being covered up with blankets or having socks on. I remember the day Sole asked if I'd help bathe Amanda... I was so excited. I thought that finally, Sole "trusted" me enough to ask for help with the child that was BY FAR her favorite. We bathed her together, then took her back to Sole's room to blow dry her hair... I blow dryed it while Ben held her up (because she couldn't sit up by herself). Then, I laid her back down in the crib. I think that was only the 2nd time I'd seen her out of the crib. (The first was maybe during my first week when I walked by Sole's room and she was standing by the door holding Amanda... I vaguely remember Marie talking to them so my first week was the only week Marie and I worked together besides random visits in passing on other days.) But I will never forget the day after she died. I'd already left when it happened. But I got there the next day, and it was SILENT. As I've also mentioned before, I could tell how the day would go based on who and what I heard as soon as I opened the door... so basically, silence was NOT a welcome sign. Diana came up to me to tell me what had happened, and although my Spanish had definitely made a lot of progress and I could certainly understand a lot, I didn't catch much of her 2 minute speech to me. The only words I got were "Sole" and "Amandita." I knew something was terribly wrong, and at first, I didn't immediately think Amanda had died... I just thought she was very sick at the hospital... but as the day went on, I decided that it was probably much much much more than that. I remembered the week before she died, Ben, Sole and I were standing in the kitchen making bottles (for the feeding tubes). It was after lunch because Zulma, Agustín and César had already gone off to school. We got on the subject of my favorite kids from each " bedroom." Fátima and Ismael from the bedridden kids' room, Jeremias from Sole's room (also where Amanda lived), Agustín from the boys' room and Zulma from the girls' room (Luciana was also one of my favorites because she's just so darn adorable!). Sole asked me why Amanda wasn't my favorite... I told her because Amanda was her favorite, so Jeremias was mine... it's true, what can I say?! She agreed and we went back to fixing the bottles. I don't know why I've remembered such a seemingly trivial conversation, but I have. Little did we know, Amanda wouldn't be with us much longer. Bottom line is, no matter how much or how little time I actually spent with Amanda, she was still one of the kids there, and I really enjoyed them all. It was never in my wildest dreams that my last week would be so hard... I assumed it'd be hard saying good-bye, but never thought I'd be leaving Casa del Niño at such a tragic time. No one's ever prepared to face death, especially one of a little seven year old girl that has faced so much in her short life. She never learned to sit up, crawl, walk, talk, eat food by mouth (she had a feeding tube), and she couldn't do anything by herself. Obviously she required a large amount of care (I'd say she was one of the most "needy" there), but needless to say, she touched many lives in her seven years on Earth. I was never given details on her exact cause of death, and don't feel I need any. It was bad enough just hearing the news. Side note- she definitely had a sense of humor. One day Ben and I were in Sole's room (we seemed to spend the majority of our time there after Ben came) and she was calling us different rather vulgar names. Throughtout all of this, Amanda was laying in her crib smiling and "laughing" too. It was quite funny and cute. I remember Gabriel was in there with her and he told us to look at her and she was so happy. That was the happiest I've ever seen her. Anyway, I think about her as much as I think of the other kids. She may not still be there, but she was still one of the kids I helped take care of. I will never forget her.

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21

Argentina Blog!

I kept a journal every day I was in Argentina. On past trips that I've kept journals, these journal entries go on for pages and pages and pages. I made this blog and added some posts before I left, and while I was in Argentina, I never posted anything. I had to pay for internet cafes, and just didn't feel like typing everything in a blog and then paying for it... not that it cost much. Now that I've been home for 2 months (well, 2 months on October 1st), I've had several people ask questions about the trip, if I had a blog, what I did... etc. So I figured why not make my journal entries into a blog! I've left some things out of the entries, because as I said, some entries are really long, and other things are more personal and I just don't feel like sharing them on the internet for everyone to see. Thanks for reading! ♥

Back in the USA

Welcome to America. I hate this country. We landed at 5:50am, but since Customs doesn't open until 6am, they wouldn't even let us off the plane. Customs literally took about five minutes. This guy at the Customs line was directing people what line to go in, when I passed by him to go to the US Citizens line, he said to me, "Welcome back to the United States of America!" I don't know why, but it really made me mad. I wanted to say to him "No, you didn't because you don't even know me! And no, I didn't miss you." But I refrained. Both of my bags came quick, so I just had to wait by the door until my mom and sister made it over here. I reread the note from my host family... it makes me miss them/Argentina even more. I just sat and watched everyone until they got here a few minutes later. Everyone seems so happy to be back and I don't like hearing them speak English. Even though I didn't understand a lot of the Spanish, it's so weird to hear a language I understand. I just can't believe these two months are over. There were times when I was excited to come home, but now that I'm here, the only thing I think about is being in Argentina. Yesterday, I was at Casa del Niño and in Argentina, but now, I'm in a completely different world. I don't like it. I want to go back to the place I've called home for the past two months.

I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again...

Today has been a really sad, but overall good day. When I went upstairs for breakfast, a girl I've never seen before was there. It was around 9am, so pretty early in the day for a visitor. Papa Romero told me it's his neice who lives in Buenos Aires. She's on her way to visit her family, and stopped by the Romero's house on the way there. Riqui was making French toast for breakfast and asked if I wanted some, but I wasn't hungry. The thought of leaving and everything that's happened the past few days has really made me not hungry at all. I had tea and two crackers with dulce de leche. Riqui had to go to Cordoba, so we got on the bus together. I want to take some criollos home with me, and asked Riqui if I have him some money, would he buy the criollos for me. He said yes and wouldn't let me give him the money for the criollos. Sole had told me to be there a few minutes before 10am since we were taking Jeremias to his school, and even though I couldn't imagine we were still going, I made sure to get there a few minutes early anyway. When I got there, I wasn't sure if Sole was there or not. Estella brought Jeremias and his crib out, so I played with him off and on all morning. As much as I'll miss Zulma and Agustín (and the others too... but those three are my favorites), I'll definitely miss Jeremias the most. Jorge, Celeste, Zulma and Agustín colored pictures for awhile. Jorge is always so proud of his pictures... it's just a lot of scribbles on the page, but he's proud, so I'm happy for him. Rubén had gone to school today, but Jeremias didn't. We ate lunch around 11:30am. Martita wasn't there again today, so Diana fixed lunch. We had mashed potatoes and some sort of fried vegetables. While feeding Jorge, I decided I should tell him "Hoy es mi ultimo dia" (Today is my last day). His face changed and he said "Hoy es tu ultimo dia?" (Today is your last day?). I told him yes and he told Gabriel. After eating, Jorge and Celeste sat outside. Zulma, Agustín and César left for school. I was a little worried that I'd get upset saying good-bye to all the kids, but it wasn't too bad. Ale was in a hurry to get them to the bus, so I didn't have a long, drawn-out good-bye for them. I wasn't sure how long I should stay. I had to be back home by 3:30pm, since that's when we were leaving for the airport. I decided to stay until 1pm, then see how I felt. Jeremias was tired, so he sat pretty still in my lap. Estella always talked to Jeremias when she walked by, and at one point, took him to sit with her. I decided to go see the bedridden kids... specifically Ismael and Fátima. I talked to them for a little while... of course Fátima was sleeping... but Ismael was able to look at me. When I went back out, Jeremias was in Estella's lap and reached up for me to hold him. It was the most precious thing ever. She said "Te quiere" (He wants you), so I took him back. At 1:45pm, I decided I should probably leave. I put Jeremias back in his crib and realized his shirt was a little wet... his feeding tube had come out for the second time today. I put it back in, then Estella picked him up. She asked if I was leaving and told me to have a safe flight. I told Rubén "chau"... I don't know if he knows it's my last day or not. I think it's best that they don't know... I don't want to make a big deal out of it because I know it'll make me sad and it's not like they'll remember me after I leave. Sad thought, but it's true. I kissed Estella and Jeremias on the cheek and told Ale "chau." I hadn't seen Sole all day, so I wasn't sure if she was even here. I hoped she was, because I really wanted to be able to tell her good-bye. I had 3 pictures to give her, so I got them out and decided if she wasn't there, I'd just lay them on the bed. I walked in and Sole was sleeping. Her mom was sitting down watching tv. I set the pictures on the table by Sole's bed and debated on whether or not I should wake her up. I decided to let her sleep, but she woke up when she heard me and her mom saying "chau." I was so happy she woke up. We gave each other a hug and kiss on the cheek. I asked her how she was and then I left. I must say, I was surprised I didn't start crying... I've felt like it all day. I wanted to be strong, for her, because she's had a bad past couple of days. I told Jorge and Celeste "chau" when I walked outside. Jorge kissed me on the cheek. (He hardly kisses anyone... Ben and I tried to get him to hug Ben and kiss me a few times and he never wanted to) I really wish I knew more Spanish to have a real conversation with him... he really needs someone to just talk too. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little teary-eyed on the way back. Working there has been beyond hard at times, but I'll really miss it. I just can't imagine not going back there on Monday. I decided to stop at the internet cafe before going home... I needed to compose my self and do something that didn't remind me I was leaving in 1.5 hours. I hadn't told Ben and Laura about anything these past few days, so I ended up emailing them both. I took a taxi back home. When I got back, Marie, Kaitie, and Melissa were already there... I think with their host dad. I immediately came back to finish packing... since I STILL hadn't finished. Everyone came downstairs to give me a bag full of gifts: our family picture, a small picture of Maia, mate, dulce de leche candy, a notebook with a page long note in it (all in Spanish. I understood it all! Basically reminiscing on my time here), criollos, chocolate and a few other things too. I packed it, then finished packing everything else. A little while later, Riqui and Lorena came down to see how the packing was going. I had finished, so we sat around the table for about 30 minutes to drink our last mates. We took some pictures, then loaded up the car. It was pretty full with our four suitcases and carry-ons. Saying good-bye was terrible. It was so sad. I've definitely had the best host family ever. When it was time to leave, we got in the car and waved to everyone as we drove off. The ride to the airport was pretty silent. As soon as we pulled up to the airport, we could see how long the line already was. Kaitie and I each took one of our suitcases, and Riqui took the other two. Papa Romero went to park the car, then he came in too. While we were waiting, Kaitie saw Ariel come in and go down a flight of stairs. We ran over to the stairs and called his name. He stopped and we talked to him for a minute. He was picking up a new volunteer. He asked what time we were leaving, and when we said 5:30pm, he said he'd be back up in a few minutes. And he was! We took a few more pictures with him, and then said good-bye for real this time! Apparently I'd only thought I'd said the real good-bye to him a few days ago. We waited in line for a long time. The plane was about to board, so Kaitie and I had to go through security as soon as we finished checking in. We said goodbye to Papa Romero and Riqui. I was definitely saying good-bye to the best family in all of South America! I'll miss them so much. Security was absolutely nothing. We put our bags through the x-ray machine and walked through with all our clothes on. Ben was right when he said this airport is tiny! All the gates are right by each other. It's crazy. The hour long flight to Santiago was no big deal. I wrote in my journal the whole time. We got a box of snacks, and it was an alfajor in it... along with two other kinds of cookies. I saved the alfajor to eat for when I get back home... to the dreaded country known as America. When we got off the place in South America, I just followed the crowd down, what seemed to be, a never-ending hallway. Kaitie and I checked in for our Miami and Dallas flights respectively, then went to find our gates. They were right next to each other, so we sat and talked until she had to board. It was so nice having her to go this far with. And, she arrived the day before me, so we've basically been here at the exact same time. After she boarded, I only had about 10 minutes until my flight started boarding. When I sat down in my window seat, no one sat next to me. Once again, I had two seats to myself. It's so nice to be able to lay down during the flight. ADIOS ARGENTINA! TE EXTRAÑARÉ MUCHO!!! ♥

Mi Familia :)

Last picture with Maia!

Kaitie, Riqui and I at the airport.

You get a strange feeling when youre about to leave a place, like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again. -Azir Nafisi

The post I hoped to never write...

Today has been absolutely horrible to say the least. It started off like any other day. I went to the panaderia and then to Casa del Niño. I knew something was terribly wrong the minute I walked in the door. It was silent. I can tell if it'll be a good day or bad day based on who and what I hear when I walk in, and I knew immediately that something was very wrong. Ale and some other people were in the first room with the bedridden kids talking. Sole's door was open and she wasn't there. And Jeremias's crib was already moved out. Sole's mom was drinking mate and looked kind of upset. Zulma, Jorge, Celeste, Rubén (why isn't he at school?), César Ricardo and Carolina were up. Agustín wasn't up... another clue that something wasn't right. Diana came up to me and started telling me something, but the only words I understood were "Sole" and "Amandita" (little Amanda). I assumed something happened to Amanda, and Sole was at the hospital with her. But I wasn't so sure because it seemed like something worse had happened. Diana wanted everyone to be quiet, so I got some play-doh out for Zulma, Jorge, Celeste, and Rubén. They didn't really understand what it was for. I kept making things for them... but Zulma would just flatten it out again. I kept having to tell Zulma "No come!" (Don't eat!) A little bit before lunch, Sole and Sonia came in. She didn't say anything; she just made tea and then left again. On her way out she came over to ask how I was. She came over to talk to Jeremias too. I could tell he needed a diaper change, so I had to go into Sole's room to get a diaper and clothes. She did smile as she handed me layer after layer after layer. I changed him and he sat in my lap until lunch at 1:30pm. So obviously, Zulma, César and Agustín weren't going to school. After lunch, I needed to leave, so I gave Sole my left-over scrapbook supplies to give to her English teacher (since she likes scrapbooking and you can't buy stuff here) and she was on the phone with someone. Hunny and I met at our bus stop in Cordoba. Manon and Gautier weren't there yet. Manon came a few minutes later and said Gautier was sick today. Hunny said Elodie, a volunteer at her house, said she wanted to start working at Casa del Niño, but Inés called and said she couldn't because a little girl there had died! I texted Inés to see if Amanda died, and she immediately called me to tell me about it. She said she didn't call earlier, because she knew I'd find out when I went, and Casa del Niño didn't care if I was there or not. They just didn't want any new volunteers until Monday (Elodie and two others were supposed to start this afternoon). I really think I went into shock after that. Amanda DIED. I can't even wrap my mind around it. I get a lump in my throat whenever I think about it. I've never really known anyone very well that's died, so I've never had to deal with death before. This is when my lack of Spanish is bad. Wow... luckily I had those crazy adorable kids from Eva Peron to help me keep my mind off of it. We stayed outside for a long time and I was able to take a lot of pictures. Around 7pm, Hunny and I took some last minute pictures (because it's my last day there). I said good-bye to Claudia and Gladys (Eugenia wasn't there) and then told the kids good-bye. I gave little Estrella a kiss on the cheek. As much as she whines, I really will miss her. We waited about 20 minutes for the bus. Like normal, it was really crowded. I was dreading having to tell everyone at home about Amanda... but knew I couldn't not say anything. That's a huge detail of my day to leave out. Luckily, when I got home, Marie, Kaitie and Melissa were there, so Marie had already told everyone. Papa Romero asked us if we knew exactly what happened, but neither of us really knew any details. Then we decided that since Papa Romero is taking me to the airport tomorrow, and Kaitie and I are on the same flight to Santiago, she could just come to our house tomorrow and he'll take her too. Marie is also coming tomorrow to see us off. Melissa and I said good-bye tonight. It was kind of weird because we arrived on the same day, but she still has a few weeks left. Right after they left, Grido was delivered! I LOVE MY FAMILY. We had milanesas and mashed potatoes for dinner. And then Riqui taught me how to make mate. Everyone tried it and we took pictures of everyone trying my first mate. haha With a lot of sugar, I really do like mate. I decided to go ahead and give them the scrapbook after dessert. Everyone loved it! Berta started crying when she saw it. I went downstairs around 1am and still needed to finish packing.

R.I.P. Amanda- July 29, 2009